My daughter the loser.

30 Dec

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I am very much the disappointment of my family.

Once upon a time I was supposed to achieve great things.

I went from being the apple of my father’s eye to the almost 30 year old child he still needs to support. What happened? Where’s the straight A student? The scholar athlete? The homecoming princess? The gifted little girl with so much potential?

I don’t know.

I guess I made mistakes. Too many mistakes. I drowned myself so deep in bad choices that nothing has been able to save me.

But my father tries.

He sends me money. Pays the bills. Pays the rent. Gives me cars. He tells me he loves me, that everything he’s worked for is mine. He cries.

I am a loser and I am not proud.

Not proud of the unimportant, under achieving, blob that has contributed absolutely nothing to society, that I have become.

I have nothing to celebrate on NYE, no resolutions, nothing to look forward to. All I can do is reflect upon these last couple of years, find the moment I fell rock bottom, and find a way to start climbing out.

I’ll make you proud daddy. One day.

Today.

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