I’m not sorry that I’m not sorry.

21 Dec

I think I’ve said all of the sorrys in the world.

I’m sorry I cried. Sorry I’m sentimental. Sorry I’m angry. Sorry I walked away. Sorry I stayed. Sorry I said what I said. Sorry we’re taking up the same space. Sorry I interrupted you. Sorry your mom hates me. Sorry I forgot. Super sorry I still remember and won’t forget. Sorry my existence conflicts with yours. Sorry about the food. Sorry about the mess. Sorry we’re late. Sorry about the tantrums. Sorry I’m a mess. Sorry I need a break. Sorry I’m overwhelmed. Sorry for disappointing you. Sorry for having my own goals. Sorry for dreaming out loud. I’m sorry for being sorry.

Well ladies and gentlemen, I’m not sorry anymore. And I’m not sorry about it either.

I’ve wasted too much time apologizing for the stupidest things instead of focusing on what really matters.

Living, not just breathing.

I am an imperfect mess of a woman who fucks up quite often.

I have simple goals and far fetched dreams that keep me pushing. Here’s a list of things I haven’t yet accomplished but will one day.

1. I haven’t lost the baby weight.

2. I didn’t participate in any mud runs or races.

3. I wasn’t crafty.

4. I didn’t save a dime. My last dime was spent on a McDouble, no pickles please.

5. I didn’t pass the pencil test. Failing the test equals flat ass.

I will accomplish these things in 2013. I will also write horribly boring but charming blog entries every damn day.

Live, love, laugh.

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2 Responses to “I’m not sorry that I’m not sorry.”

  1. Maly Vang December 22, 2012 at 12:45 am #

    I spent a lot of my college life being sorry for so many things. “Sorry” became like second nature to me, but I’ve come to realize that there was never really anything to be sorry for–for being genuine to myself, in my relationships and for making mistakes that all young adults make. Being sorry for everything all the time invalidates who we are, I feel–and when I realized what I was putting myself through, I stopped giving a shit about other peoples’ feelings and put myself first. Good luck with your goals! šŸ™‚

    • poorvida December 22, 2012 at 12:52 am #

      Thank you for the encouragement!

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